Sorry to let you go, but I'm sure you'll land on your feet.

You have the job. Unlike a cat with nine lives, you have ten.

You can type 1000 words a minute? You got the job!

Yes, but how are you at multitasking?

No I'm not tense and please take your tentacles of my thigh!

The company misunderstood.when I ordered a bunch of suckers!

The last secretary had great legs too but she was always running out of ink!

It's really not necessary to shake hands eight times.

Well, what you heard is not true. Our business is not about to go underwater.

Your resume looks fine. However, I'm curious as to how you can type with no thumbs?

Rosie O'Donell called and said the little red circles on her behind are from you, not people touching her with a ten foot pole.

Welcome to Squidoo, we look forward to working with you.

aren't you one of Jerry's Squids?

we told you the hair folicle transplant would cost you an arm and a leg

I threw this out to one of the writer's groups I belong to... Some interesting thoughts:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/174841139290229/.

I have to hand it to you.

"It says here on your resume that you can multitask, you'll be perfect for our office!"

You're gonna have to start controlling your tentacles, we're getting complaints from HR.

I hope you understand ... we're not doing this because you look different ...

No, No. I said Nice "Tentacles"

Only one part of a mans brain can function at a time, where as many parts of a womans brain can function at the same time. Woman were born to multitask, we have many tentacles.

You say he is "armed and dangerous"

you must understand, the job your seeking requires a real lot of hands on experience

Hey, I saw your brother at a hockey game the other day...

I guess there's no point in my asking how you are at "multi-tasking"........
WELCOME ABOARD!

"you're Octo...who?.. yeah right,and I'm James Bond. ''

"Sir, I don't care how many squids you have...you can't claim them on your taxes...and tickling my leg won't change that fact"

"No, you cant get a loan...because you have no visible means of support........and no ,I'm not being shellfish!!"

I'm not falling for the old "tying the shoelaces together trick".

Oddly, this is not my worst blind date..

Sooooo, this is speed dating .?...

I'm sorry, when I saw "Octomom" on your résumé , I was expecting someone completely different.

I'm able to juggle multiple jobs!

"To conclude, we'll need to get this in ink. sir."

I'm excellent at multi-tasking!

You're hired. I think you will make a great I.R.S. agent.

No, we will not accept Spongebob Squarepants as a reference.

I'm sorry but I can't hire you. The clams in accounting told me they'd be too terrified when your first lunch break rolled around.

You had a leg up on the competition for the promotion...and you got it hands down.....just dont get a swelled head

Don't worry...Rahm sent me......I'm G8

Sorry that isn't what an ARM loan means.